Finally got rid of everything concerning the garbage HP support programs for my laptop. I will post here what I did.
First off, please ignore anyone on these forums that say you should keep the programs and just disable them. These programs are NOT needed. All they do is perform non-essential tasks that actually slow your computer down further, have a tendency to activate and do silly tasks like defrag your hdd when you're trying to accomplish other tasks and generally just annoy the crap out of you. I build computers for customers all the time, and I receive in pre-built OEM machines from places like Dell, HP, Acer and others and the first thing I ALWAYS do is wipe and fresh reinstall a clean version of Windows on the machines so they actually run better.
Anyway, you can't just remove this program by disabling it from start up (typing msconfig in search box and unchecking the box for it in startup), or even by uninstalling the program (control panel, programs and features and uninstalling). Because guess what, uninstalling does not remove the .exe file for support assistant or any of the other HP programs. You actually have to go into task scheduler and delete the HP folder there because HP decided to, for some reason, make a program that even if you disable in startup AND uninstall it correctly would STILL RUN.
So anyway, hope this helps some of you out. It was driving me crazy that I could not get this stupid program off my system but finally, after weeks of trying and forgetting and coming back to it I figured all this out. And seriously people, if you're advising anyone to keep this program on their system please refrain from giving people any kind of computer advice ever.